What does sober mean?

When it comes to drinking or using substances, people use the term sober in different ways and it can be helpful to know the difference, especially when you’re wondering if it’s something you want to be.

So if you’re wondering what sober means, read on! By the end of this post, you’ll know what it means and what that means for you!

Sober = complete abstinence (forever)

Most of my clients with substance use disorder (“alcoholism” or “addiction”) use the Alcoholics Anonymous definition of sober, which is complete abstinence from all addictive substances (although AA does not include smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee). Eg. “Anna used to drink, but now she’s sober.” Also known as “being in recovery.”

Most people in recovery, who are committed to a lifestyle of complete abstinence, use the term sober in this way, as do many people in alcohol and addiction treatment programs. Sometimes medical doctors use the term “sober” to mean not using alcohol specifically. It can be confusing, huh?

Sober = not drunk

Other people use sober to mean a temporary state they are “not drunk right now” which is a common dictionary definition. Example: “Anna was drunk last night, but she’s sobered up this morning. She’s great when she’s sober, but I don’t like being around her when she’s drunk.”

People also use sober this way with other substances, like cannabis, eg. “When Anna is high, I don’t like hanging out with her. When she’s sober, we have a great time together.”

“California” sober

A more recent term, California or “Cali” sober is a slang term that has no official definition, but usually means that someone is replacing an addictive substance with another addictive substance that they consider less harmful.

For example, people who are “Cali sober” often replace alcohol with cannabis because they consider weed less harmful--so they stop or cut down drinking and use cannabis (and/or psychedelics) instead. Eg. “Anna’s Cali sober now. She stopped drinking but still smokes weed.”

Whether being Cali sober or complete abstinence is best or appropriate for you is something to discuss with a medical and/or substance use professional.

If you’re curious about sobriety, or in recovery and could use support, contact me for a short chat to see if I might be able to help.